


turn on the light of my heart

by timeofsorrow



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Police, Alternate Universe - Teachers, Angst, Eventual Smut, Humor, M/M, Music Teacher Wooyoung, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Police Officer San, Single Dad San, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, Yena plays as San's daughter simply because they share the same surname lol, ateez fic fest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2021-01-16 22:47:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timeofsorrow/pseuds/timeofsorrow
Summary: "Hey, Siri. Is it appropriate to send flirting notes through your child's lunch box to her kindergarten teacher?"





	turn on the light of my heart

**Author's Note:**

> Big thanks to my spouses [Mac](https://twitter.com/deaconkink) and [Rene](https://twitter.com/Elesteria) for helping me figure out how an iPhone works. lol And thanks to my best friend [Nikki](https://twitter.com/nikkijang63) for beta-ing~
> 
> **I want to mention that there is a scene where a bit of violence happens** (San pins someone to the ground) because I do not know if that will trigger anyone. I'm giving a warning and saying to please proceed with caution. :)
> 
> The title's taken from 'Turn It On' by Laboum.

San sighs as he stirs the melting ice in his small glass with the tinier plastic straw in it. His other arm leans on the counter in front of him with the palm of his hand resting against his cheek. The blink of his eyes are slow as he feels himself nodding off. Why did he agree to come out here? He's so bored. 

_Go to the club_, they said. _Get loose_, they said. _It will be fun_, they said.

And here sits he at the bar ready to clunk out. He should really stop taking advice from his friends when he knows better himself.

"Rough day?" The bartender asks as she swoops over near San to refill his glass. 

It's Lucy. One of his long-time friends—_best_ friends. She'd been already working here when he moved to the city. He was introduced to so many opportunities because of her. He doesn't know if he'll ever be able to thank her enough for what she's done for him.

San shrugs in response as he slides his empty glass over to her. "No, not really. Out here against my own will. Not feeling it tonight, honestly.” He watches Lucy refill his glass and slide it back to him. “But anything to get them off my back for a second," he finishes and picks up the glass to immediately down it all in one go.

Lucy laughs as San finishes it and hands it right back to her. "That’s surely what people do when they didn't have an excruciatingly exhausting day," she teases and fills up his glass once more. "Let me guess. It was Yunho who forced you out?"

After taking a sip of his drink, he shakes his head. "You would think it would be him as usual. But this time? No."

"Oh, then Maddox? He's your partner. God, he constantly complains about how he sees you way too much."

"Nope. Surprisingly enough."

She gasps. "Oh my God. _Hongjoong_!?"

"_Ding_! _Ding_! _Ding_! We have a winner!"

Lucy laughs in disbelief. "That man who's always in his work headfirst? I'm pleasantly shocked!"

San also laughs and shakes his head. "You're telling me," he replies. He picks up his glass again and brings it to his lips. "And you know he even—"

He doesn't get to finish his sentence as someone harshly bumps into him from behind. It causes him to be pushed forward and the drink in his hand to be spilled on his jeans. He drops his glass on the counter just as the person who bumped into him begins apologizing profusely.

San sighs. The back of his mind is just yelling at him for knowing he shouldn't have come out tonight but still doing so anyway. He isn't the one to make a fuss over things like this—unlike some other people would—either. Simply, he shakes his head and turns around to ease the worries of the troubled person.

Said person is a man. A rather very top-tier, beautiful, handsome, gorgeous, hot, sexy, _pretty-enough-to-be-walking-down-the-runway_ looking man. 

He has sharp, brown eyes. A soft, kissable nose with a small beauty mark placed to the left of it. Perfectly shaped pink, plump lips. There's light orangish eyeshadow applied to his eyelids and the edges of his eyes have a black, smudged out shadow. He has a shit ton of piercings on both of his ears, a thin, black choker hugging his rather attractive thick neck, and his hair is dyed a nice mauve colour that San didn't think someone could pull off so well. His attire consists of a light blue, short-sleeved dress shirt tucked into ripped, black skinny jeans, and suede, black boots.

TL;DR—needless to say because of his inability to check someone out discreetly—_San's type_.

San smiles warmly smiles at him and waves him off. "It's alright. It was just an accident,” he says. “But make sure to watch where you're going. I don't think the next person you might bump into will be as nice as me." He winks for good measure, trying to be light-hearted to make the man laugh. 

Instead, the man seems rather flustered. He visibly blushes with blinking eyes and nods his head in return. "I—thank you. I'm sorry. Again," he rushes out and turns around to flee faster than a bumblebee.

A laugh bubbles from San as he turns back around in his seat to face Lucy. She has an eyebrow raised and he looks at her in return with one raised too. "What's wrong?"

"That was smooth," she simply replies. There's something in the back of her tone he can't quite catch though.

He shrugs and pats his thighs where the liquid fell onto him. He'll just leave it. It wasn't too much. It'll dry eventually. 

"I was just being polite. He seemed spooked," he easily replies.

Lucy only smirks and hums as she turns around. "Whatever you say~"

Inevitably, San ends up chatting with her for another half hour while idly scrolling through Instagram and smashing levels in _Candy Crush_. He's wasted so much damn time sitting here doing absolutely shit, but he can't deny that it does feel good not to be cooped up in his office until his shift is over. He's grateful for at least that part.

He's starting to feel that boredom hit him again and figures it's time to go. there are only a few drinks in his system. He hadn't even drunk enough to get tipsy but he also knows that his body handles liquor well in general. 

He sighs knowing he's got to get home and freshen up before leaving to his brother’s apartment to pick up his daughter. He doesn't want to smell like musty sweat and alcohol around her. It just feels like more work for his tired body but he loves her too damned much to let her get accustomed to anything like that.

Just as he's about to call quits and pay for his drinks, Lucy points to someone behind him. "Isn't that the man you chatted up earlier?" She asks.

Following her gaze, San turns around. When he lies sight on her finding, he scoffs. "I was not chatting him up!" He cries in defiance when he turns back toward her quicker than lightning.

Lucy rolls her eyes. "Sure thing, Lightning McQueen," she mewls sarcastically under her breath. "_Anyway_,” she loudly says, looking at him with pointed eyes, “I pointed him out because he doesn't look so quite comfortable over there."

San looks back over to the man with thin lips. After observing for a few moments, he reluctantly has to agree. The man doesn't look like he's in a very good situation right now. It settles in the pit of his stomach quite weirdly but he ignores it and refaces Lucy with narrowed eyes. 

"You want me to play hero."

She only smiles back in response. "No,” she denies. “_You_ want to play hero. I simply said he doesn't seem like he's having a good time."

And yeah. Maybe she’s right. But he won’t admit it. Not to her. Never to her. He won’t ever let her have the upperhand satisfaction of knowing she’s correct.

He stares at her silently for a few seconds while she only looks back at him with her lips turned up at the edges. Then he sighs and begins to slide off of his seat. “Not a word,” he says as he starts to walk toward the dance floor with a crowd and Lucy makes a gesture of zipping her lips shut.

When he gets to the floor, he has to push through quite a bit of people. It’s hot, sticky, and overcrowded, but he doesn’t really take notice of it. Instead, he has his target in sight and makes note of their actions as he passes through.

_One_: The victim is showing expressions of distress.

_Two_: The perpetrator is the cause of it.

_Three_: The victim is saying something to the perpetrator and then pushing him away.

_Four_: The perpetrator pushes back into the victim’s personal space and then grabs the victim’s arm.

_Five_: The victim pulls his arm away from the perpetrator and once again pushes the perpetrator away.

_Six_: The perpetrator grabs the victim’s arm again—

San puts a hand on the guy’s shoulder. A harsh grip. “Are we having a problem here?” He asks, having to yell because of the loud music pumping through the club. The action startles the guy, but San only sees the man in front of him, his eyes lighting up at the sight of San.

The guy turns around, making San’s hand fall off of his shoulder. He doesn’t let go of the other man’s arm though. “What did you say?” He yells back.

“I asked if everything is alright here?”

“Yeah, everything’s peachy—”

“Absolutely not!” The victim shrieks. “Let go of me! I don’t fucking know you! Leave me alone!”

“Aw, honey, please. Don’t be like that. I just wanna’ talk—”

“And I don’t!”

This is when San begins to notice the guy’s not so tall but pretty buff. Either way, he has majour inches on the other man, giving him the upper hand in this situation of harassing the smaller man.

San reaches out and gently disconnects the guy’s grip from the shorter man. “He said he doesn’t want to talk. And he asked you to let go of him,” San says carefully. “The answer here was pretty obviously no, so I think you should take your leave now, sir.”

Despite San’s politeness, it still angers the guy. “Bastard, mind your own damn business,” he spits out.

At that, San’s a little taken aback and he almost laughs. “It is my business if I see that you’re making advances on someone who verbally stated for you to leave them alone and you didn’t accommodate.”

“It’s got nothing to do with you!” The man shouts angrily.

But San can’t keep his mouth shut. Especially because how finds this quite entertaining. 

_Rookie mistake_.

“It’s got everything to do with me though,” he simply replies. And that’s what pulls the trigger.

“Listen, you _fucking_—” The guy throws his fist first. San and his witness can say that much in honesty.

The thrown arm is pretty weak and aimed terribly. San dodges it easily by stepping to the side with wide eyes and a surprised “_Woah_!” He hadn’t expected to piss the guy off so quickly.

It apparently seems to anger the guy even further after he trips over himself from punching air rather than San. He doesn’t waste a second, regaining his balance to spin back around and strike at San once more.

Being able to calculate the second swing, San ducks as the taller guy throws his aim and charges forward after bringing his arms up to protect his face. The side of his head then meets the chest of the guy and he wraps the both of his arms around the man's torso right under his armpits to restrict him from moving any further. Doing this minimizes the chance of letting the guy knock him out.

The guy tries to resist San’s grip on him, flailing his arms about, landing hits on San’s head that barely does anything. San figures the guy isn’t going to stop fighting until one of them is game over, so he decides to put him down by restraining him. 

San lowers himself a level from under the man’s armpits to around his hips. Then he tightens his grip, slightly lifts the man up, and immediately folds his torso to bring both of them to the ground. 

There are gasps as his action catches the attention of other people surrounding them. Space is suddenly in between him, the guy he’s restraining, the victim, and the crowd. They begin to get an audience, but the music from the club continues to pump loudly. 

Now at this point, San is straddling the man’s hips. To keep him immobilized, he has his chest against the other guy, dropping all of his weight on him. His shins stay hooked on the underside of the guy’s knees and his hands are splayed out over the man’s head so that he can’t hurt San in any form.

The guy attempts to push San off by turning to one side, but San immediately wraps an arm around his neck. One of his shins stays hooked under the guy’s knee while his other entire leg goes over the guy’s thigh to keep him in place. It puts the guy in a tight, secure headlock, making him not able to sit up.

In this position, San can reach into his back pocket, so he does and pulls out his wallet. He snaps it open, revealing it to the crowd around him. “I’m a cop!” He tells the man under him, still trying to keep him restrained as he keeps fidgeting. “You will be under arrest for harassment and physically assaulting a police officer!”

In his peripheral vision, he sees Lucy grabbing her manager and shoving a phone into his hands. He suspects they’re contacting the police and mentally sighs in relief. “Anything you say may be used against you in the court of law. You have the right to consult an attourney before speaking to the police and to have an attourney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attourney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish.”

It takes fifteen minutes for the cops to arrive. During the entire wait, San has to keep the man restrained using his own body. He’s off-duty, so he doesn’t have handcuffs or anything similar to it to keep the suspect from fleeing the scene. A few cops make their way inside and San is finally able to hand the guy off to them to lock cuffs around his wrists. As they deal with the suspect, San makes his way over to the victim.

The man looks up from his spot near the bar when San stands in front of him and his eyes go wide, which almost makes San laugh. “Seems you got yourself into something deeper than bumping into people, huh?” He jokes, smiling afterward.

In return, the man’s cheeks turn pink from embarrassment. “Yeah, I’m kinda’ prone to it, to be honest,” he nervously laughs out. “I—the guy was tagging after me since I got here and I just—ugh. I didn’t think it would get this—” He gestures his hands around in the air, “—crazy? I guess? I dunno’. I’m sorry for disturbing you again,” he sheepishly apologizes.

San _does_ laugh this time and shakes his head. “It’s no big deal. Just doing my job. What’s your name?” He asks as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small notepad and pen. 

“O-Oh. Um. Wooyoung. Jung Wooyoung,” the man—_Wooyoung_—responds.

“Alright, Wooyoung,” San says as he writes down his name. And no. He doesn’t file it away in his brain for later usage. “Would you like to press charges against this dickass for harassment and attempted sexual harassment?”

Immediately, Wooyoung shakes his head, but San sees him slightly smile at the mention of the insult. “No! God, no. I—I’d rather just forget this entire thing happened if I can,” he admits.

At that, San nods his head. “I completely understand that. It’s all up to you.”

“Then no, I would not like to,” Wooyoung responds. “Can you just…leave him off with some kind of a warning or something?”

San is opens his mouth to respond but closes it back when Wooyoung continues.

“Or maybe I could just get a restraining order?” He asks. “‘Cause this...this isn’t the first time that guy’s tried to make a move on me.” Wooyoung shrinks in on himself as he confesses quietly, “I think maybe he’s stalking me or something.”

At that, San frowns. “Well, that’s not good, now is it? I’ll try to get my team to look into that when they get to the office,” he reassures Wooyoung, his frown disappearing when the man’s eyes light up. He then cocks his head to the side with a smile—the one where everyone says his dimples appear—as he slides his pen into his pocket. 

“In the meantime, perhaps you should take up some self-defence classes,” he advises. And throws another wink—for good measures, of course. There’s a furious blush that finds its way onto Wooyoung’s face and San begrudgingly decides he really likes that colour on him.

“I—” Wooyoung’s voice breaks off with a crack and he coughs, making San bite his lip in order to keep back his laughter. He clears his throat as his eyes flutter in embarrassment. “I will—um—think about that. Um, th-thank you…?”

San grins. “Choi. Officer Choi.”

Wooyoung nods his head as he takes in the information. “Y-Yeah. Officer Choi. Um. Thank you for helping me and—um. I—” He points behind him and begins taking steps backward. “I should get going now.

“Yeah? Well, get going then!” He says, giving Wooyoung another warm smile. “Thank you for the information. Keep yourself safe.”

The man laughs nervously, rubbing the nape of his neck with a nod, and San waves to him. He then sees him off and returns to the club. When he gets inside, he sits at his previous spot to wait for the police to finish their investigation and questioning. He looks over the bar and finds Lucy smirking at him. 

“What?”

"Rough night?" She asks, tilting her head to the side.

San plunges his fingers into the bowl of peanuts sitting near him, takes one out, and throws it at her. "Not a word, Park Jiyeon."

Lucy laughs as she dodges the flying nut. “Not a word spoken, Choi San!”  
  


* * *

  
  
When the police finally clear the area, San is more than ready to dip. The day out he thought he would get went over completely unexpectedly. He’s not mad, however. Disappointed but not surprised. San can’t escape from his job. He’s starting to accept it. 

As he heads outside to get to his car, he finds Wooyoung still standing outside in the front. He’s sat squatting near the sidewalk as he rubs his hands together and blows into them. San frowns at what he sees. Immediately, his mind tells him no, but his heart says yes. Then he sighs to himself as he begins making his way over to Wooyoung, giving in without a further thought. He can’t help that he has a soft heart.

"Hey,” San greets as he walks up to Wooyoung.

The smaller man looks up and his eyes widen. 

“You're still here?" San asks as he stuffs his hands into his pockets.

Wooyoung quickly stands up and nods his head. "Oh. Um, yes," he responds softly.

"It must be fate that we keep bumping into each other like this," San jokes, smiling when Wooyoung’s cheeks start blooming pink. "What are you doing out here all alone?"

"I'm waiting for my friend to pick me up,” he replies and looks down at the ground. “He lives far from here, so I gotta’ wait a bit.”

Once San hears that, he almost slaps himself on the face. He’s dead hooked now. There’s no way he’s going to leave Wooyoung like this. He physically can’t. It would be torture for him later if he did. 

"How long do you have?” He asks. “Do you want me to drive you home instead? I honestly have to say that don't like you standing here alone after what just happened in there."

Wooyoung’s head shoots up as his eyes brighten at San. "Oh my God! Really?!” He exclaims. “I—thank you so much! I would appreciate that!"

A warm, dimpled smile makes its way onto San’s face. "It's my duty," he responds easily.

San guides Wooyoung to where his car is parked and lets him climb into the passenger seat before heading to his driver’s seat. When they’re finally safely buckled—San is a cop. He can’t forget the law—Wooyoung pops his address into the GPS San has built in his car and San drives off, following the directions the voice of Siri gives out.

To San’s surprise, the ride is remarkably quiet. Wooyoung immediately nods off a few minutes after the car takes off. He reckons the man must have had a long day to clunk out like that so quickly. It isn’t long before he’s reaching the apartment complex Wooyoung lives in either.

When San pulls into a parking spot in front of Wooyoung’s building, he reaches over and gently shakes Wooyoung to wake him up. He watches as Wooyoung’s eyes open slowly, blinking as if he’s trying to place where he is. Wooyoung then sits up, slightly stretching like a cat, and San finds it so cute.

Wooyoung looks over at San and his eyes widen. He then goes, "Oh! Oh my God! I'm so sorry! I-I didn't mean to fall asleep on you! Oh my God—"

San laughs and shakes his head. "Hey! It's okay!” he interrupts him. “You seemed pretty tired. Seems exactly what you need right now too. Go get some beauty rest, yeah?"

"I—” Wooyoung blushes and adverts his eyes away from San. “Thank you,” he says softly. “So much. For-for everything. I really appreciate it."

"It’s no problem, Wooyoung. Just doing my job to keep fellow civilians protected,” San says with a smile. “Go on. Be safe now."

Wooyoung gives San a warm smile back. He unbuckles and opens the door to get out. After he closes it, he waves to San who waves back. He finally takes his leave.

San sits back against his seat and sighs loudly as he watches Wooyoung walk until he reaches the stairs to the entrance of the building.

Ass.

He’s got _ass_.

Trying to be professional has never been so fucking tiring.  
  


* * *

  
  
The first San does when he gets home is jump in the shower. It’s cathartic for him, feeling like he’s washing off a day’s worth of absolute crap. He quickly freshens up though, not wanting to spend to spend too much time on that. 

It’s not long before he’s soon making his way back out to head over to his brother’s apartment. It's a bit after ten PM, two hours over the time he'd said he'd come to pick up his daughter. Two hours isn’t long, but to him, it’s like a decade. He feels terrible as he pulls out of his complex.

When he finally arrives at his brother’s door, it's barely even thirty seconds after knocking on the door that his daughter is opening the door and throwing herself at him. He laughs and wraps his arms around her small frame to return her embrace.

“What did I tell you about answering the door, Yena?” He asks in a gentle, chastising tone.

She pouts and San can feel it against his chest. “Don’t answer the door because I’m not old enough…,” she mumbles into his chest.

“_And_?”

“That someone could snatch me up and I could never see you again…”

“_Aye_,” he says, removing her from his hug. “‘Atta girl.” He kisses her on the forehead and she giggles just as San’s brother is walking up to the door. San looks up at him from where he sits squat down on the ground and gives him a smile.

“She beat me to the door as usual,” he says with a laugh.

San grins and runs a hand over Yena’s head in a fond manner. “You’re getting old, Seonghwa-hyung,” he jokes and laughs when his older brother scoffs in disbelief at him with glaring eyes.

Seonghwa then invites San inside. Yena immediately begins telling San about her evening, dragging him inside to sit on the couch where all her crayons, colouring books, and toys are at. He smiles as he listens to her tell tales of her adventures from the afternoon that she spent with her uncle. It’s moments like this where he wishes he hadn’t chosen the job he did so that he could spend more time with her himself. He tries not to dwell on it.

He’s finally released from her hold a while later when she finishes talking and leaves him to watch what’s playing on the television. As he lies against the couch to just relax for a moment, Seonghwa offers San dinner and he accepts after realizing it’s been a minute since he’d last eaten. Seonghwa guides him to the kitchen to make a plate of food for him and he eats at the small dinner table that sits in Seonghwa’s kitchen.

“Did you have fun?” Seonghwa asks as he sits in front of San at the table.

San looks up and gives Seonghwa raised eyebrows as he forks spaghetti into his mouth.

A huff of air comes from Seonghwa’s chest. “Okay, what the hell does that mean?”

San gives him a pointed look next as he chews his food.

“San, I don’t know what that means!” Seonghwa whines.

San finishes swallowing and forks up another portion of pasta. “Eventful,” is all he says.

“Please humour me,” Seonghwa begs.

So San tells him about the entire encounter at the club. Everything. Including the parts where Lucy bullied him and he realized that Wooyoung had thick thighs _and_ ass. Seriously? How could someone be anymore flawless?

“And so this man—”

“Wooyoung,” San interrupts him.

Seonghwa gives him a look. “Yes, Wooyoung. So you flirted with him?”

San splutters, almost choking on his food. “I didn’t flirt with him!” He exclaims through a mouth full of noodles.

“Okay, then what was up with all the winking then?”

“It was just to lighten up the atmosphere!”

“You’ve never done that in any other situation.”

“I—” San huffs. “Why am I being judged for my actions?!” He exclaims.

“Because I know you,” Seonghwa simply replies and smiles when San gives him a face of disgust. “_And_ you offered to take him home.”

“He fell asleep, hyung! Oh my God!” San shouts.

“Yeah. But what if he didn’t?” Seonghwa asks curiously.

San stabs his fork into his pasta. “I’m not answering that.”

“But what if he didn’t, San?”

“Hyung.”

“But. What. If. He. Didn’t. San.”

A groan escapes from San. “Nothing! Absolutely nothing would have happened! I’m trying to _keep_ my job, hyung!”

Seonghwa cocks his head to the side in confusion. “You weren’t on duty though.”

“He obviously knew I was a cop after me shouting it to the entire damned club,” San says.

“Okay. And?”

San releases an annoyed sigh and glares at Seonghwa. “Listen. Police officers don’t make advances on victims, hyung. Especially not on the same night. Stop insinuating shit.”

Seonghwa leans back in his chair and sighs back in response. “You’re impossible.”

“No, I’m practical,” San corrects him.

It’s silent a moment before Seonghwa softly says, “I’m just trying to say that you can shoot your shot, San.”

At that, San’s eyebrows furrow. He stares hard at Seonghwa. “I don’t want that,” he replies in a clipped tone.

Seonghwa only looks at him with a gentle expression. “You don’t want it, San. You _need _it.”

San’s fork drops with a harsh clanking sound and he pushes his plate away. He folds his arms in a childish manner and looks away from Seonghwa. “I’m not having this discussion again.”

Seonghwa gives him a sad smile and is silent for another few moments. “It’s been almost six years, San…”

San doesn’t say anything in return. Just looks down at the table with wavering eyes.

Seonghwa reaches over the table and grabs one of San’s hands. “I know you don’t want to hear it, San-ie. But I’m only looking out for you. Just think about it, yeah?” He says softly. “It’s...not healthy. She wouldn’t have wanted this for you. And you know it too.”

He hates it. How Seonghwa gets under his skin like this. Because Seonghwa _is_ right. No, he doesn’t want to hear it. Yes, he does know she wouldn’t have wanted him to be like this. He fucking hates it.

Getting emotional, a tear escapes from one of San’s eyes. It wistfully slides down his cheek and he immediately wipes it away.

A sorrowful sigh comes from Seonghwa. He pushes San’s plate back to him, still holding his hand.

“Take care of yourself, little bro,” he murmurs.  
  


* * *

  
  
Twenty minutes later, San is sitting next to Yena on the couch. He’s gently running a hand through her hair as she peacefully sleeps with her head on his lap.

Seonghwa stands in the doorway, leaning against the wall with his arms folded.

“Yena’s starting to look more like her these days…,” San suddenly says after a moment of silence.

Seonghwa sadly smiles in return. “Yeah,” he responds.

San traces the facial features upon Yena’s face with his eyes. “I see some remnants of her personality in Yena too,” he continues softly. “It’s only a matter of time before she’s breaking out the paint buckets and begging me to let her paint on the walls.” San laughs to himself in a bittersweet manner and shakes his head as his brother strides over to him. Then he sighs and looks at Seonghwa who starts picking up the toys Yena was previously playing with.

“Thanks, hyung,” he thanks him. “You know I...I really appreciate this. Everything.”

Seonghwa smiles from where he’s perched on the ground. “I know, San. You’re welcome. You know I wouldn’t have it any other way.” He looks up and glances at the clock on the wall. “You should get home now though. It’s pretty late too.”

San lets out a heavy sigh and nods in agreement. “Yeah, you’re right. I guess I’ll head out now then.”

He carefully removes Yena’s head from his lap and laid her down on the couch. Then he gets up to grab Yena’s shoes. He fixes them onto her feet before putting her jacket on her as well. Along with Seonghwa, he packs her belongings back into her backpack and throws it over one shoulder. Then he picks her up and lies her head on his other shoulder.

“I’ll get the door for you,” Seonghwa says as he gets up.

San nods and follows Seonghwa to the entrance of his apartment. He then slips his feet into his shoes near the door. When Seonghwa opens the door, he walks out. Seonghwa follows after him and San hugs him using his free arm. “Thanks again, hyung. I really am...so grateful.”

His brother smiles and returns the embrace. “It’s not a problem, San-ie. I’ll text you tomorrow, okay? Please get home safely.”

San smiles with a nod and turns around to start walking toward the elevator.

Seonghwa leans against his doorway again. “And hey! San?” He calls out.

San stops walking and turns his head around to let Seonghwa know he’s listening.

“_Think_ about it. Goldenrods, white clovers, daffodils, and chrysanthemums,” Seonghwa recites. 

San bites his lip and nods his head again.

He hates it that Seonghwa is _always fucking right_.  
  


* * *

  
  
San walks out of the apartment building and to his car. He opens the door to the backseat and straps Yena in her booster seat that Seonghwa had placed back in there earlier. He then puts her backpack next to her, gets into the driver’s seat, and turns on the car. While he waits for the car to warm up, stares blankly ahead for a before resting his forehead on the driver’s wheel.

Different images start to play in his mind as he sits there.

Him playing with Seonghwa in a pool during one hot summer. Him having his sixteenth birthday and his neighbours calling the cops because they were so damn loud. Him arranging a flower bouquet for his grandmother’s funeral and his mother gushing about how beautiful it was. Him kissing another male for the first time and giggling over it. Him coming out to his parents about being bisexual and the three of them crying together. Him checking over the last texts he’d ever gotten from his father. Him seeing _her_ being wheeled onto an ambulance—

San shakes his head and blinks away tears. Then a heavy sigh escapes him. He can’t continue living like this. He cannot continue to keep fucking living like this.

He pulled out of the parking lot and began to drive home. The entire way there is silent. Cars barely pass by him on the way there. It feels weirdly empty.

When he arrives at his apartment complex, he turns off the car after parking. Yena has not awakened and he’s grateful that she’s tired enough to not have. She’d be in a cranky fit if she had woken up. He thanks God that she didn’t.

After finally getting out of the car, he grabs her bag and then took her out of her seat. He makes sure the doors to the car are locked before leaving and walking into the building his apartment is in. He begins walking up the stairs and when he gets to his door, he digs into his pocket to pull out his keys. He opens the door and steps in, toeing off his shoes while also taking off Yena’s.

San walks to her bedroom after dropping her backpack on the couch and gently places her on her bed. He reaches over to the dresser that’s near her bed and pulls out some random pyjamas to dress her with while she’s still asleep. After he finishes, he then tucks her under her blanket and fondly kisses her forehead.

“Sweet dreams, baby girl,” he whispers.

He stares at her for a few moments before sighing and standing up. He leaves her room and softly closes the door behind him. Then he leans against the door and looks up at the ceiling in thought. Seonghwa’s list of flowers runs through his mind.

Chrysanthemums symbolize honesty.

Daffodils represent new beginnings.

White clovers are for reminding you that others are always thinking of you.

Goldenrods stand for encouragement.

San pushes himself off of the door with another sigh and runs a hand through his hair as he goes through the hallway to meet the kitchen. He grabs a glass from off the counter and walks over to the refrigerator to get himself some water from the machine built into the door. Then he drinks the water and sets the glass back on the counter.

“I’m gonna’ move on,” he tells himself aloud.

_I’m going to move on._

**Author's Note:**

> To the creator of this prompt, I hope it meets your expectations. :)
> 
> (This was previously submitted into the Ateez Fic Fest, but reveals never came through, so I removed it.)


End file.
